Three Nights Drunk- Christian/Bowling (VA) 1936 Davis AA
[My title, replacing no title. Davis' excellent notes are not included as they shed no light on the ballad. This standard version features one original line, "travelled this wide world more times than three."]
MORE TRADITIONAL BALLADS OF VIRGINIA- DAVIS
AA. No local title. Phonograph record (aluminum) made by A. K. Davis, Jr. Sung by Miss Eleanor Christian, of New Glasgow, Va. Amherst County. Muy, 1936. Text transcribed by M. J. Bruccoli. Tune noted by G. W. Williams and E. C. Mead. Miss Christian learned the song from Miss Irene Bowling, of New Glasgow, and copied down from her the words of the text. Note that the song is sung here and in BB by young women who may not even know of the less polite versions but who no doubt enjoy the triumph of female wit over the gullible husband.
I came in the first night drunk as I could be,
Found a horse in my horse stall where my horse ought to be.
"Say come here, little wife, and 'splain this thing to me,
What's a horse doin' in my horse stall where my horse ought to be?"
"Cryin' fool, blind fool, can't you never see?
It's only a milk cow your granny sent to me."
"Oh, I've travelled this wide world more times than three,
But a saddle on a milk cow never before did I see."
I come in the second night drunk as I could be,
Found a coat on my coat rack where my coat ought to be.
"Say come here, little wifie, and 'splain this thing to me,
What's a coat doin' on my coat rack where my coat ought to be?"
"Cryin' fool, biind fool, can't you never see?
It's only a bed quilt your granny sent to me."
"Oh, I've travelled this wide world more times than three,
But pockets on a bed quilt never before did I see."
I come in the third night drunk as I could be,
Found a head on my pillow where my head ought to be.
"Say come here, little wifie, and 'splain this thing to me,
What's a head doin' on my pillow where my head ought to be?"
"Cryin' fool, blind fool, can't you never see?
It' s only a cabbage head your granny sent to me."
"Oh, I've travelled this wide world more times than three,
But a mustache on a cabbage head never before did I see."