No. 9 Interview with Judy Rees

No. 9 Interview with Judy Rees

Performance & The Subconscious Mind- Part 9 Interview with Judy Rees
Posted on February 9, 2011 by Richard Matteson

Hi,


Judy Rees

Today as we continue  to explore performing and the subconscious mind I’m delighted to feature an interview I did on-line with with Judy Rees, the elephant whisperer. You can learn about Intelligent Influence and get her excellent article “Seven Intelligent Ways to Influence and Persuade” at www.intelligentinfluence.com

You can also learn more about her at her site: www.xraylistening.com and at youtube.com/xraylistening

Hi Judy,


Here are some questions. Please feel free to elaborate.


1) You’ve been studying NLP and hypnosis for over ten years. What insights have you learned about how the subconscious mind works?

JUDY: I’ve learned that there’s an awful lot of it! Depending which research you favour, it seems that up to 98 per cent of our “thinking” is done outside of our conscious awareness. I’ve also learned that it’s the unconscious mind that frequently leads the way on key decisions about how we behave.

Jonathan Haidt in his excellent book “The Happiness Hypnothesis” uses the metaphor of the unconscious mind being like an elephant, with the conscious mind, the part that we tend to think of as “us”, as a rider on its back. If elephant and rider are in agreement, everything goes swimmingly, but if they disagree, it’s the elephant who has the power.

That’s why we so often do things we don’t consciously want to – such as eating and drinking too much, failing to exercise and so on.

2) Tell us about “The Elephant Whisperer.” How is the use of metaphor important in the way our subconscious processes information?

My nickname “The Elephant Whisperer” came about when someone joked that the skills I use and teach help people to communicate more effectively with their own elephants – and with other people’s elephants. If you can hear what someone’s elephant is trying to say – if you can “speak elephantese” – then you are in a strong position to influence them.

“The Elephant Whisperer” is a metaphor. It compares one kind of thing (a London-based writer and consultant) to another (someone who whispers to elephants).

Research over the last 40 years or so has revealed that our elephants actually think in metaphor, by comparing one kind of thing to another. The metaphors you may hear in someone’s language are a side-effect of that – the metaphors in our thoughts spill out in the words we use.

So for example, almost everyone thinks of important things as larger than unimportant things – and you’ll often hear people say “It’s a big day for me” and similar expressions.

3) In your excellent article “Seven Intelligent Ways to Influence and Persuade” you write about a technique which I would describe as verbal “mirroring.” You repeat back what the person says and ask a probing question. Can we use the same technique to gather information about ourselves? About knowing our unknown limiting beliefs that are stored in our subconscious?

It’s usually easier to start to notice metaphor in other people’s language – particularly on TV and radio, where you don’t need to respond. But with practice, you can start to pick up metaphors in your own writing, or recorded speech. Noticing your own metaphors “on the fly” is a tougher step.

Perhaps surprisingly, research has discovered that we use between six and nine metaphors per minute in ordinary conversational English! The ones you’ll notice first will tend to be cliches, “sayings” and catchphrases. And typically, they won’t be metaphors for good stuff, for the stuff in our lives that we love and that makes us smile.

When you pay attention to a particular metaphor, and ask questions about it, you will tend to deepen the emotion that’s associated with it. So unless you want to make yourself miserable, don’t pay too much attention to any metaphors for “limiting beliefs” or anything else that has a “beat yourself up” tone to it.

It’s best to keep on “metaphor spotting” until you start to notice more positive metaphors, and pay close attention to them.

4) What are some questions we can ask ourselves or others to uncover our hidden limiting beliefs and anxieties?

I would not recommend doing that unless you want to make yourself, or others, miserable.

I understand that experiencing sadness may be a part of your artistic role (I heard the cartoonist Nick Park recently talking about how he used a particular piece of music to repeatedly make himself sad when he was creating a famously sad scene for Gromit). But most of us, most of the time, would do better to pay attention to what we want instead of the “limiting belief”.

If you happen to notice a “limiting belief” (or a metaphor for one), then ask yourself: “And when , what would I like to have happen?”

So for example, if you catch yourself thinking: “This feels just too difficult, I’m never going to crack this,” ask yourself: “And when this feels just too difficult, and I’m never going to crack this, what would I like to have happen?”

There’s a great book called “Switch” by Chip and Dan Heath which explains the theory behind this approach – and how taking it will help you to motivate your elephant and direct your rider.

5) How does the subconscious mind respond to probing questions? How to we best access the information stored in the subconscious mind?

We seem to be wired to respond automatically to questions – we can’t not think about the answer, even if we don’t say it out loud. It’s an automatic, unconscious process.

It’s true that “where attention goes, energy flows”. So it’s a good idea to pay attention to what we’re drawing attention to, whenever we ask questions – of ourselves or of other people.

Our elephants are amazing things, with huge reserves of information. If we can learn to relax and trust them, rather than “getting in our own way”, they’ll provide what’s needed, when it’s needed.

6) Tell us about briefly about “Clean Language”? How does it differ from “X-ray listening”?

Clean Language was originally a therapy and coaching process, devised by the late David Grove. It uses specific questioning patterns, combined with the metaphors in our language (and also gestures etc) to tap into the wisdom of the elephant.

I co-authored a book about Clean Language and have helped to train scores of people worldwide to use it.

My business, which I’ve called X-Ray Listening, extends the use of Clean Language well beyond coaching and therapy, and into the more “real life” world, as well as connecting Grove’s ideas with important research from other fields (notably from influence and persuasion).

7) Performance anxiety is a very real problem for many performers. Being the focus of attention and the pressures and expectations of the ego causes the body to assume a “fight or flight” response. In your experience what are some techniques a performer can use to combat the biological changes and emotional pressures? Is the real solution one of focus? What is the best role for the conscious mind in a performance?

Performance anxiety tends to be a very “rider-driven” emotion, caused by catastrophic fantasies of what might go wrong. Use the question: “What would I like to have happen?” to keep your conscious mind focussed on the positive as far as possible.

It’s also useful to have a way to encourage your elephant to step into the spotlight and perform at its best, despite the rider’s concerns.

Here’s a question. When you are performing at your best, when you feel fully prepared, and things are going exactly as you’d like them to, that’s like… what?

In other words, what’s your metaphor for you at your performing best? This might be an animal or bird, but it could be anything.

Personally, I’m like Tigger playing with a big soap bubble! But whatever works well for you is fine. The test of whether you’ve found a workable metaphor is “Could you draw it – at least as some kind of symbol?”

Give this metaphor some attention ahead of performance time. Ask yourself: “What kind of is that?” to bring out more details.

Then, if you’re a bit of an artist, draw it. If you prefer, find a picture online that fits what you’ve imagined.

This is your talisman – and it’s a way of communicating with your elephant. People’s elephants love pictures: they understand them much more easily than words.

Get your picture in mind as you prepare to perform (and during the performance if necessary). Notice what happens to your emotional state as you become aware of your talisman. Then, trust your elephant!